Four Ways to Offend Without Even Realizing It
Robin Thicke may have topped the charts with Blurred Lines this past year (and anyone who owns a radio or television has had at least one day where it was impossible to make it stop playing over and over in their head)! In real life, how often do we pay attention to blurring lines or crossing boundaries? Many of us walk around completely oblivious to the hypothetical toes we are stepping on or feeling their's being stomped on by some unaware perpetrator. There are many ways in which we either are offended or offend on a daily basis. It has been my personal observation, there are an awful lot of people who pay absolutely no mind to it all!
Photo courtesy of http://visionlosangeles.com
So what exactly ARE these things???
#4 Coworkers asking personal questions at work.
Look buddy, there is no need for you to ask where I grew up, what book I'm reading, what I do for fun, or how my social life is going. Ask me where the ink cartridges are, or how my presentation is coming along, and lay off of the "how are you feeling today?" stuff. Now, this may seem like innocent "Just trying to make conversation" dialogue to you and there is nothing uncommon about it by any means, but, does that make it appropriate? Where does it lead? Where does it end? Next thing you know you are trading anti-anxiety medication reviews and how great your therapy sessions are going. Good grief! Before you know it, little by little your professionalism gets chipped away while you were simply trying to get yourself a cup of coffee, smoke a cigarette(no judgment), or grab a quick bite to eat! Point is, you are there because you have a job to do and a salary to earn. Sure its nice to get along with or even "like" the people you work with, just don't share your hopes and dreams or start giving advice on Joe Smith's marriage or, worse yet, asking advice from him!
Photo courtesy of http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2013/12/10-reasons-watch-lost-anchorman-movie-wake-ron-burgundy/
#3 Complete strangers asking if your married or want to have kids.
Ok, this is a big one! There is nothing worse than sitting on park bench soaking in a beautiful day with nothing on your mind except trying to have well, nothing on your mind! Suddenly, a seemingly harmless woman of a certain age sits down beside you. Next thing you know, introductions and pleasantries are exchanged, and, though it is a little weird sitting so close to a complete stranger, getting up and walking away can often feel awkward. So you engage in small talk while in the back of your mind thinking "When will it be ok for me to get up and tell this kind lady it was nice meeting you and have a nice day?" And then it happens. The big question. "So, are you married?" And there it is. Stress. Now, this is inappropriate across the board! If you are married, now she wants the back story. "How long have you been married?" and "Do you have kids?". If you have two girls there's always the follow up "Are you going to try for a boy?". If you have one child its, "Do you ever think of giving them a brother or sister? After all, its nice to have a sibling." Ugh...Flipping the script...You aren't married... "Haven't met the right one?", which may or may not bring up the one that got away, the one who recently broke your heart, or the idiot you are currently dating but see no future with. Stress, stress, and more stress!!! So much for that fresh air and sparkling water you were enjoying. Suddenly, you feel as if this lady is literally shoving the bread she brought with her to feed the geese down your throat and every word is so difficult from this point forward as you are literally choking on this conversation!!! Stick to the weather people! The scenery...you know, small talk? Its the only courteous thing to do. P.S., better yet, find your own bench. This one's taken!
Photo courtesy of http://www.colourbox.com
#2 No Introductions Necessary
This next encroachment is one of my personal pet peeves and I'll explain why. The act of sending a friend request to someone you have never met, but with whom you happen to share a friend. There is nothing worse than seeing someone you know, popping up on your friend's feed when you know they have never met one another. Not every one agrees with me on this one, and we can agree to disagree. Aside from possibly making you uncomfortable because you know what a needy person this "circle jumper" is, coupled with the fact now you have been, in a sense, used for this person's purposes of getting to know your friend. You were essentially their "IN"! "Hey, I'm a friend of Sara's, let's be friends." Its creepy. I always almost want to explain to the "friended" friend that I in no way am vouching for this person. Believe it or not, most times I do! Who wants that responsibility??? No thanks. If you are interested in a friend of mine, who's picture you have seen on a social media site, through my page, ask me about him or her. At the very least give me a head's up you are about to expose my apparent lack of keeping a particular filter on who I accept as "friends"! Look, in a way I joke, but the truth is, it makes people uncomfortable. If you're going to use me as a reference, I would like to be informed. That's all! This applies both on and off the Internet. You don't have to "like" it...just be aware not everyone is so open to the idea of mixing their "friends".
Photo courtesy of http://onlinecareertips.com/2012/06/turn-down-the-friend-request-from-person-x/
#1 Last but certainly not least...KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF!
There is nothing worse than hearing someone spout their views using two dollar words without any regard for the other person's circumstances, lifestyle, religion, choices, or belief systems. Spare us the "I would never date online", "I'll never understand people who live like that", or "I would never x,y,z!". Guess what...Not everyone thinks the way you do! Odds are you are insulting the very person you are trying to impress with your self-centered narcissism. People do this all the time and often become relentless leaving the other person to either smile and hide their true feelings, or be forced by their principles to disagree with you on the basis of personal integrity! Before you know it, you have either made an enemy, sparked controversy, hurt their feelings, or left them with a bad feeling about themselves or the person you are. It may come as a surprise to many know-it-alls that not everyone is interested in what you believe. It is my experience that people who have a lot of personal views, have their eyes shut most of the time!
http://strategylab.ca/tag/no-it-alls/
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